Children grow up faster than parents would like to believe. You suddenly realize that the child whom you were spoon-feeding only recently has already grown up, and is starting to have thoughts about the first experience of sex.
Ideally, sex education should start just before your teen actually become sexually active. The days of explaining sex and reproduction has greatly been changed by the era of information and technology, and children, wary of talking openly with parents, tend to gather information from sources that are mostly unreliable.
Shying away from talking openly with your child about sex can lead to greater issues later. This is mainly because children tend to seek answers to their questions through unreliable means, ending up with a concocted idea of sex. In most cases, the information is likely to come from a friend who may be boasting about an imaginary sexual experience, which your teenager may consider as a true incident. The other common source of information is pornographic sites on the Internet. Neither of these sources presents the correct picture, leading to a distorted view of the true nature of sex idea in the teen’s mind.
Parents are the best, most genuine, and reliable source of sex education. While you are educating your child about sex and the manner in which one should approach the idea of a sexual experience, you can also explain important practical aspects like birth control and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Such direct talk can also help in reducing unspoken tension between you and your child, leading to a more open and friendly atmosphere around the house.
If you find out that your teen has already engaged in a sexual experience, a reprimand is not the right thing to do. Once you are aware of the incident, take time to allow yourself to cool down. In all probability, your child would also be going through a tumultuous phase trying to figure out emotions. Let things calm down and pick up the topic at an opportune moment. Try not to assume what the kid knows, and discuss the biological aspects of sex along with the risks associated with it. Take a friendly approach and empathize with your teenager. Remember the time when you wanted to explore and find out more about sex. Accept your teen’s right to privacy, but explain the consequences of their actions if adequate precautions are not taken.
If we go by the news that we read, one out of every four teenage girls is afflicted by a STD. It is important for you educate your teen about the importance of safe sex. Teens often get swept away in the heat of the moment, and it is imperative that they understand that contraception and safety should be kept in mind. You may also like to explain that forceful sex is not acceptable, and that it should be avoided at all costs.
In case you do not have a strong and open bond with your child, make sure that an adult who is respected talks to your teen about the subject. This could be a beloved aunt, uncle, a physician, or a school counselor.
Remember, the harder you hit a ball on the ground, the higher it bounces back. This applies equally well in the matter of sex. The harder you try to shield sex from your teen, the more obsessive your teen is liable to become. The urge to have sex can be a major problem with impulsive children if they develop an obsession with sex. It can wreck concentration and lead to a situation where it can destroy an academic year or a successful career.
Ensure that you explain sex in the context of societal norms so that your child understands the basic rules. If you have had a one-on-one chat with your child about sex, the issue is likely to lose its novelty and secrecy over time. An action like this will enable your child in improving concentration and control the obsession with sex.References: